Public Media Journalists Association Logo

Tips for Overcoming Personal Conflict in the Newsroom

Bec Feldhaus Adams of Louisville Public Media and Ryan Van Velzer of Appalachia Mid + South Newsroom spent two hard years working through what they call "the bad times" before they became close colleagues, and eventually friends. Their story is proof that you can come out the other side of conflict with your work nemesis and end up better for it. They led a webinar for PMJA in September 2026 to share everything they've learned, summarized below.

The backstory

Bec and Ryan first began working together in 2020. That year was stressful enough for everyone, but the advent of remote work made it extra difficult to build new relationships and truly read each other's effort or intent. Without being in the same room, small frustrations went unspoken until they built into real resentment. It took a full blowup, two years in, before they finally talked honestly about what had gone wrong — and realized most of what they'd assumed about each other was incorrect. 

Lessons learned, now shared

Clear is kind

Brené Brown was right: beating around the bush to avoid an uncomfortable moment isn't kindness, it just leaves the other person guessing where they stand. Being direct respects the relationship more than staying quiet does.

Feedback is a gift you accept, not one you have to act on

Your job in the moment is to take feedback in, not to change on the spot. You can sit with it, weigh it, and decide later how much of it fits.

You can't charm your way out of a trust problem

Simply being extra "nice" to each other didn't rebuild trust between Bec and Ryan — it made things worse, because it signaled something was still being left unsaid. Trust comes with honest conversation.

Assume positive intent, and look for the rest of the story

Most conflict starts with an incomplete story one person tells themselves about the other. Always assume your colleague is acting in good faith.  

Name the power imbalance out loud

If you manage someone, acknowledge that they're taking a bigger risk by being honest with you than you are by being honest with them. That acknowledgment is what makes it safe for them to actually say what's on their mind.

How to have your own difficult conversation

  1. Define your goal. Know what you actually want out of the conversation before you start it.
  2. Prepare, but don't script the ending. Write out everything you want to say (then delete it!) or vent to someone you trust to help you find the two or three points that matter most.
  3. Talk in person or on video. Text strips out tone and intent, and that's exactly what you need most in a hard conversation.
  4. Expect it to feel bad before, during, and after. Discomfort isn't a sign you're doing it wrong. It's just a sign you're doing it.
  5. Keep working on it. One conversation rarely resolves everything. Cool off and come back to it as needed.

Timing is Everything: Bec and Ryan now ask for a quick temperature check before delivering unrequested feedback. If it's urgent, it's urgent, but if it can wait it will. It's a small habit that came from getting the timing wrong for two years.

Keep learning

Bec and Ryan pointed to a few resources that shaped how they think about conflict and communication:

Want the full conversation, including Ryan and Bec's own account of the blowup that finally got them talking?

Watch the recording